Taking things for "Granite"

I am a major HGTV fan(home and garden tv) and not because I am involved in one home improvement project after the other; that's how I spent my childhood...I'll pass as an adult. I couldn't strip and stain one more antique "find" if you paid me. Okay, make me an offer! (smile) Anyway, it's my way of chilling. I love it! I can't get enough of "Design on a Dime", "House Hunters" or "My House is Worth What?" I love 'em all!

My husband, on the other hand, is to put it simply NOT INTO IT! If he walks into the room and I'm in HGTV land, I can see his eyes glaze over...usually. Well imagine my surprise when I walked in and found yours truly, Mr." Law and Order Special Victim's Unit" guy, watching "my" show. I suggested turning over to his show, and he offered that he wanted to wait and see which house they chose. Really?? Things we take for granted. Never would have expected that.

It is a common practice on HGTV to see the demolition team pulverizing the old tile counter tops with a sledge hammer in favor of the more high end, updated look of granite counter tops to add "value" and "get this house sold!" I imagine in the future people will be breaking up the granite counter tops saying "Gee whiz, why did everyone use so much granite back then...look at all of the swirls...so busy looking." One thing I won't take for granted anymore is whether or not Scott even knows the difference between granite and any other solid surface material. The real point here is that I try not to pigeon hole Scott but instead enjoy the variances from the expected. What's next I wonder? I need to watch more cooking shows!

Confessions of a Life Coach

I am TheSimplifiedLifeCoach.Net

I teach people how to simplify their life. This week a write up about my life coaching practice appeared in a Journal Gazette insert.

I can't tell you how many people have mentioned seeing the article. As you can imagine, I was very pleased about that. Not only because of the free advertising, but also because I really do have a passion for helping people find joy in their lives by getting out of the rat race they find themselves in.

I am just really, really glad that those same people weren't at my house this past week. Truth, I usually do take my own advice. This week however, wasn't a shining example of that.

I'd love to let myself off of the hook considering we celebrated two birthdays during the week and also because I picked up an extra homecare nursing case on a fill in basis.

Here's the reason I can't and why I owe a debt of gratitude to a husband whose patience I will never take for granted...again that is... I hope.

My grandson's 10th birthday was celebrated in style not with extreme outlay of cashola but certainly with extreme fun!! Activities ranged from squirt gun tag (inside, but with small guns filled to the 1/2 mark), outside glow chalk to the max on the driveway, a karaoke sing fest (he's a ham like moi), glow football and frizzby etc. That was Tuesday.

Then, on Wed., after working 8 hours out of town, I stopped to pick up my daughter's birthday cake and hurry around Kroger getting stuff to go with birthday get together #2. Then I hurried home to bake the fruit torte like the one I saw at Fresh Market off of West Jefferson.

I thought it was amazing! It didn't even look real it was soooo pretty. I knew it would look great as part of the dessert party she wanted.

Tidying up, setting the table and making dips etc. went on to the point of ridiculousness. I had one of those out-of-body moments as I walked in the bedroom to show my husband Scott the beautiful torte that was finally all ready to present as my final project on the food channel...oops I mean all ready to put on the table.

I know Martha Stewart would beam with approval! How much beaming do you think my daughter did?? We won't even go there. I will simply wrap this up by saying my head has been examined, I had the lobotomy and I'm all better now!

I recall some conversation with Scott about my going overboard and not being surprised that I was sooo tired and out of sorts following all of the unnecessary added touches that are a nice gesture yet not worth all of the added stress.

Okay! I get it already... Growl!! zzzzzz...snore. kh

Earthquake Scott's Fault Not New Madrid Fault

"Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day. I've got a wonderful feeling, everything's going my way...." I believe the musical Oklahoma begins with that song. Anyway, that was how this morning started. The coffee was good, Cheerios just the right crispiness(this is all true by the way) okay, I also add "nutty nugets" and "strawberry flakey things" and a couple shredded wheat biscuits; I'm a cereal freak but back to what I was getting to. Happy me happened to look up as I passed through the living room, and I saw that the newly patched ceiling in the living room was presenting with those brown water marks. Noooooo!! Somebody forgot to call the roofer to recheck for leaks as the roofer said. Yeah, Scott forgot to call the roofer and then well, there are the cat boxes that are over-needing to be dealt with, and the EARTHQUAKE this week, you guessed it, Scott Howard's fault!

Beautiful days can go up in smoke if our intention is to find fault with everying the other guy didn't do. I had a mini rant this morning there is no doubt about that. I was on a roll! I could still be ranting though, but I learned in this second time around marriage to be much more careful with my days. It is MY responsibility to do just that. I listened as Scott told me that he felt attacked and that he did forget but would get right on it. As for the cat boxes, he planned on picking up the cat litter when he was out. I stopped, I listened, I hugged. We went to Lowes, we did yard work, we are going out to dinner after church, and the rest of our Saturday has been great and it's our own fault:).

Movie, Show or Talkie?

I got off the phone, and I was telling Scott how my friend's husband
kept correcting me when I said,"show" intead of "movie" in reference to
the movie/show we would be seeing later today. My usually quite supportive
husband replied, "Well I'm glad someone has as hard of a time understanding some of the words you use as I do". Oh really, I think, then say,"That's right, it really is very rare for someone to
say show instead of movie. Who does that...could it be EVERYONE!!" A perfectly good Saturday somehow took a sour turn. He said,"Blah,blah,blah..." I said,"Blabbity,blah,blah,blah..." ...And the war of words began. I wasn't able to let it go until I looked around in the warm and homespun restaurant we had arrived at for breakfast and thought, "KNOCK IT OFF" already Kathy. I apologized, he apologized and off to the "Talkie" this evening we will go". kh

The Husband, The Daughter, The Basketball shoes

All was well with the world last Tuesday evening when Scott arrived home. The leftovers already warmed in the microwave(our kids always laugh at the sea of white styrofoam containers in the fridge from eating out over the weekend). The proverbial,"How was your day?" conversation ensued...."Oh, I mailed Abby's Basketball shoes and shorts off this morning" Scott reported. "That's great", I replied. He added, "Oh, it cost $23.00". $23.00? Say what? I thought.
The word incredulous applies here. That's how I felt anyway... I was increduously, incredulous! (overreaction? I concede...).
Abby used to play varsity basketball in Jr. High and High School, and she was quite a good player. We were all "into it"! Now though, she is at Purdue, and she simply wanted us to send her shoes so she could play for fun on Thursday nights.
Seems like a never ending pool of "play" money sent to Lafayette these days I think and the slow burn began. I can remember the sliding door off of the kitchen making a... was it a slam sound? I can be awfully theatrical at times. Anyway, I'm not sure. I just know I went upstairs to the computer room to get away from Mr. high roller, package sender guy. Hey why didn't he just grab a plane out of Fort Wayne International and deliver them in person? Ticked off thoughts swirled in my mind for about 10 minutes until I talked (MYSELF) down, and a rational thought popped into my head...darn those rational thoughts. I mulled things over enough to come to the conclusion that Scott only sent the basketball shoes via Express Mail since he was worried Ab wouldn't get them in time.
Our conversation soon thereafter confirmed just that. We spent a couple more minutes talking about our need to keep "extra" expenses to a minimum with a renewed commitment to do so and then that was that with that.

Love is patient and kind....

I am a Life Coach(thesimplifiedlifecoach.net) who feels passionately about the bajillions of people out there who are suffering in their Marriage and Relationships yet they seem not to have a clue why... Really?

Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right things. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things...Love never ends. 1 Corinthians 13:4. Now I will say all of that again: Blabity blah, blah, blah,...blabity blah, da, da dah, blah blah blah.... We HEAR so, so many words today,even in church, yet we fail to STOP even for a moment and digest at least SOME of what we read. Does ANY of it apply to us? Are we patient? kind? jealous? irritable? do we always insist on our own way? ...And your Marriage and Relationships aren't working for you? Hmmm... go figure (smile).

This was a defining moment in my life: My soon to be second husband and myself were taking a drive looking for houses, and we got into it for some fiddle faddle reason that escapes me now. My husband was expressing his upsettedness and then (SILENCE) I wasn't piping up with my next argument (hard to believe I know...even for me). What I WAS doing was saying to myself, "shut up Kathy!" Doesn't seem like much to you, but for me it was a defining moment because I KNEW this second time around I was going to take full responsibility for the way I would relate in our marriage. No more of the silent treatment, no more saying any hurtful thing that came to my mind in order to "win". From that day forward, I could finally trust MYSELF to be in control of my own peace making. My life turned on a dime. It will soon be eight years , and I have yet to give up my end of the bargain. Do I have slip ups? You bet!! I quickly recover from them now though since my commitment is to peace rather than slamming my partner. I WANT him to be happy. I don't want him to have to deal with behaviors that sabotage our relationship. He deserves better and so do I. He treats me wonderfully. I do not rain on his parade! Practice makes it easier over time...trust me.