Sunday, January 20, 2008

Love is patient and kind....

I am a Life Coach(thesimplifiedlifecoach.net) who feels passionately about the bajillions of people out there who are suffering in their Marriage and Relationships yet they seem not to have a clue why... Really?

Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right things. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things...Love never ends. 1 Corinthians 13:4. Now I will say all of that again: Blabity blah, blah, blah,...blabity blah, da, da dah, blah blah blah.... We HEAR so, so many words today,even in church, yet we fail to STOP even for a moment and digest at least SOME of what we read. Does ANY of it apply to us? Are we patient? kind? jealous? irritable? do we always insist on our own way? ...And your Marriage and Relationships aren't working for you? Hmmm... go figure (smile).

This was a defining moment in my life: My soon to be second husband and myself were taking a drive looking for houses, and we got into it for some fiddle faddle reason that escapes me now. My husband was expressing his upsettedness and then (SILENCE) I wasn't piping up with my next argument (hard to believe I know...even for me). What I WAS doing was saying to myself, "shut up Kathy!" Doesn't seem like much to you, but for me it was a defining moment because I KNEW this second time around I was going to take full responsibility for the way I would relate in our marriage. No more of the silent treatment, no more saying any hurtful thing that came to my mind in order to "win". From that day forward, I could finally trust MYSELF to be in control of my own peace making. My life turned on a dime. It will soon be eight years , and I have yet to give up my end of the bargain. Do I have slip ups? You bet!! I quickly recover from them now though since my commitment is to peace rather than slamming my partner. I WANT him to be happy. I don't want him to have to deal with behaviors that sabotage our relationship. He deserves better and so do I. He treats me wonderfully. I do not rain on his parade! Practice makes it easier over time...trust me.

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